Truth On Cinema

In a word, Captain America was one of the best comic book movies I’ve seen in a long time. Our world is saturated by so many comic book adaptations that it can get very confusing trying to figure out what film is original material and what film is a comic book…or worse, a graphic novel adaptation!

The best way to describe Captain America is in this word: complete. It was a complete film, from beginning to end. I loved the “feel” of the film the most, how it remained faithful to the WWII era that Captain America was founded in, and how simple the color palettes were (bright reds, denim blues, and muted whites). Nothing in the film felt forced to me, from the action, the relationships, even down to the iconic shield. It just flowed naturally.

One of the more surprising results of the film was the “good” feeling I had coming out of it. Most of the comic book films, heck, even films in general, leave me with either an empty feeling, a longing for more feeling, or even a negative outlook on life. But this film left me feeling good about fighting injustice and being the best version of myself. And that’s because Steve Rogers (Captain America) was an all-around great guy. No ego, no arrogance, no self-importance, and no hidden agendas; he just wanted to help.

Ok, so, let’s talk about The Avengers. I know that Capt. is the first Avenger, it’s in the title of the film, and you would expect everything in this film to point to the eventuality of The Avengers being assembled, but what I thought was a good move on the part of the filmmakers was to leave the inevitable alone and concentrate on presenting the best stand-alone film they could. We all know the Avengers is coming and all Marvel films have been leading to it, but can we at least worry about the film at hand before we sneak in references to the future?!

In a time when the world is at war and patriotism is an unavoidable reality, it’s great to see a film leave you with the feeling of wanting to fight for your freedoms!

You have to see this film, and when you do, let me know what you think!

Rating: 9/10

I think I damaged my brain. Sorry, let me say that again in Transformer lingo: “My circuits have been shorted!” Remember when Transformers was a cartoon full of bad robotic and car puns? Michael Bay doesn’t. I can’t tell exactly what he’s doing, so here’s my best shot:

Pink Floyd helped NASA fake the moon landing for publicity, an act which Shia LaBeouf would need to imitate in order to land a job, despite his resume as “that kid who was there when giant robots saved the world.” The Decepticons, big fans of Pink Floyd, are chilling on the moon and waiting for the comeback tour so they can finally turn on their teleportation device and move their interstellar spaceships the last few feet to Earth for an invasion. The Autobots are spending their free time saving humanity by blowing up the parts of humanity that don’t agree with the parts they happened to align with, while Megatron develops a secret “bro-mance” with Optimus Prime that prevents him from actually using the invasion force that has been stashed there for who-knows-how-long. Patrick Dempsey has sold his soul to the Decepticon Overlords in order to work for a demonic robot Pterodactyl in an effort to replace Tom Cruise as the most attractive crazy man on Earth. Megan Fox is now blonde and from another country (or has been replaced by an equally useless heroine; hard to tell, hard to care). Humans are training to be as cool as giant robots, learning to fly to compensate for an inability to do needless flips and spins while fighting. Most of the world is flammable and downright explosive. And last but not least: even the end of the world can’t get Ken Jeong to play a new role, but Alan Tudyk is still the man.

In short: few things in this movie work well, if at all. There are plot holes large enough to drive a deluxe Optimus-Prime-complete-with-trailer through and Bay goes the X3: The Last Stand route by throwing in a bunch of cool characters with no adequate back story in an effort to show us how cool they are. The first half of the movie is failed characterization of the humans which becomes irrelevant as more and more giant robots start blowing things up, including an attempt to make us embrace Sam’s new girlfriend Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley). She is introduced to us pant-less and from underneath and proceeds to actually lose class and character from there on until contributing her one big effort to the fight: a pep talk on being evil to a moping Megatron. I wish I was kidding! The only thing that could out-do that would be if X-Men: First Class featured Dr. Phil helping an ambitionless Magneto learn to harbor grudges. This franchise is in desperate need of characters that are at least in some ways believable (something it’s lacked since Jon Voight disappeared). Everyone feels like a bunch of zany quirks held together by attractiveness and it makes one wonder if all of the energy floating around hasn’t scrambled everyone’s brains. The only thing left is a very un-subtle need to develop patriotic motifs that culminates in a George W-esque speech in front of a waving American flag at the end of the film. Oh, and Leonard Nemoy’s ability to reference Star Trek: The Wrath of Kahn, despite being an alien robot-being.

It’s customary for me to say nice things at the end of a review, so I’ll try really hard. The action sequences, to no one’s surprise, are pretty cool. But three hours of explosions seemed a little excessive. Cars are cool. Especially when they drive really fast and turn into giant robots. Military guys are also cool and they can now fly, kind of. If not for Alan Tudyk’s entertaining turn as a hacker/retired badass with an implacable accent and a bunch of good friends to mock the film as it happened, I would declare this a total bust. I hope it syncs up with the Wizard of Oz. Otherwise it’s worthless. Either way, I’m pretending the franchise ended with the first film.

For wasting three hours and $4.00 on tired and sloppy writing, I give Transformers: Dark of the Moon a 3 out of 10.

I really enjoyed October Sky (the book and the movie). It was a film set in a time where kids could run around doing whatever they wanted, engaging their own creativity as they went. The world was their oyster and whatever they wanted to do or see, they created it. That is what Super 8 is to me: a world where cinematic wonder is captured through the eyes of kids. I wonder what life would be like if kids did that now, instead of playing with iPhones? I also wonder why I’m already griping about “kids these days” at the age of 20. Then I remember that I just watched a film about kids making a high-quality movie—about zombies no less—in the year 1979. Also, there was a massive alien. I don’t know why.

In all honesty, this movie would have worked without a government conspiracy and a 30-foot alien creature that resembles a Machamp crossbred with a Venus flytrap. In fact, it just made it better. As “scary” movies go, this one won’t terrify you. You might jump a few times or get a little nervous, but you won’t find yourself checking dark corners for monsters. I personally like that. I don’t understand why people want to see movies that make us even more terrified than we already naturally are. Isn’t the condition of the world enough? We’re two paragraphs into the review and I’ve already gone on two morality rants. Apologies. Back to the film.

Child actors are sometimes a bust or sometimes pure gold, and I think everyone of these kids was solid. Their voices might squeak a little and they might overact, but really nothing sets off the “obnoxious” bell here. These kids have chemistry that works on screen, and they are written to be quirky and lovable yet totally believable, which is both impressive and endearing. The adults in the film are almost completely ancillary, and the film is as much a story about the joy, innocence, and energy of youth as a story like this can be. Side note: why is Noah Emmerich always a crazy person bent on one thing? And why does he keep showing up in random places all over my television?

I guess it’s time to talk about the 800lb. monster in the room. It seems appropriate, because you really don’t see the thing until the last quarter of the movie. Some people complain about this, I think it’s a nice touch. The Super 8 alien reads as a great metaphor for our human fear of the unknown. We fear what we don’t understand and we sometimes overreact to the fear without gathering information first. I don’t want to ruin the little twists and turns—nothing major, but a few enjoyable little details—so we’ll leave it at this: Super 8 is a beautiful intertwining of several complex stories. You can either wade in the good, old-fashioned monster-movieness of it or you can dive in and explore the time and effort that was put into crafting this little town and its cast of characters (Super 8 did come with its own viral campaign, which is less necessary to follow than Cloverfield’s for full enjoyment, but rumor is that it helps). Also, stick around to watch the kid’s finished zombie movie during the credits. It may be the best part of the film.

For a potent and possibly dangerous combination of nostalgia and the power of mystique, I give Super 8 a (super) 8 out of 10.

Review Written By: Steven Jones

If I told you that there was a film about a super hero whose power was a glowing piece of bling and whose sworn duty was to protect the universe from a sentient cloud of fear-induced space diarrhea, you might think that movie would be pretty awful. But Green Lantern shines through despite its relatively low selling points. For a movie about a hero that only die-hard fans really care about, I expect this one to go over pretty well.

Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is not the most dynamic character in history. He’s your cookie-cutter skilled-military-guy-with-a-shattered-past-and-his-hands-on-some-sweet-new-tricks. (Check the archives; I think that’s my record for most words connected by a hyphen.) At any rate, Jordan is not the most compelling story. There’s no real redemption and he’s not quite the same level of snarky as Tony Stark. But Reynolds, who I’ve always liked, does an admirable job of making us care about him. From the film’s triumphant opening dogfight against the military’s new AI super jets to the intense training on the Green Lantern Corps’ homeworld of Oa (yes, non-nerds, there is an entire Corps of Green Lanterns), we get to see Hal trade clever enough dialogue and do interesting enough things. But the film misses out on chances to shine.

Why is the idea of humans being replaced by machines, although clichéd, not explored? Why does the training sequence on Oa only last about ten minutes, long enough for one flying sequence and a few quick skirmishes between Lanterns? And why did we throw away Hector Hammond’s (Peter Sarsgaard, who I wish we’d seen do more) potential to be anything other than a bridge from training to fighting space-diarrhea? Ok, let me clarify this now: The central villain, Parallax (holding back an ex-lax joke), is a being that absorbs and sustains itself on fear. You’d think they’d have taken some of the CG budget away from changing Reynolds’ eye color and projecting a suit onto him and made their villain look a little less like… alright, I’m done with low-brow comedy. Does anyone wonder why a villain whose sole power is to devour you once you’re afraid of him is actually scary? It’s like a defeated paradox… he can only eat you if you’re scared and you really shouldn’t be scared if you know that.

Let me spend the last paragraph of this review stitching together all the pieces I just tore apart. Green Lantern is solid. Not great, but solid. The idea of a guy who can create anything he can see in his mind and sustain it with sheer will power is pretty sweet. For those of us who knock GL for not really having a super-power, let me just throw this out there: what is Harry Potter without a wand? Not much. Why do we love the world of Harry Potter? Because it’s fantastic enough to dare us to dream and separated from us by barely anything at all. Given the choice right now, I’d love to carry a Green Lantern ring. There are a lot of moments where we are just in awe of the creativity on display visually in the film, and the action is top-notch. Fans of the series will also get a little reward if they stick around long enough into the credits (don’t bother staying all the way to the end though).

Overall, for shining some creative light on an otherwise bland plot, I give Green Lantern a 7 out of 10

Review Written by: Steven Jones

The rule of thumb is that sequels are never as good as the original. I don’t care what you say, Night at the Museum 2 was not as good as the first, nor was Jurassic Park II. And I’ll go ahead and jump into a boiling pot with this one: Empire Strikes Back was definitely not the best Star Wars film. Regardless of how you feel about that one, the point still stands: sequels aren’t as good…Except for Kung Fu Panda 2, which will knock that point on its butt and require some new thumbs to go with the rules.

We pick up not too far from where we left Po and the Furious Five and are treated to our first glimpse of them working together as a powerhouse team now that Po has fully embraced his role as the Dragon Warrior. It sounds silly, but the fights are wonderfully choreographed and stretch the limits of the imagination. At one point, Viper constricts an enemy and controls him like a puppet. That’s cool. And cool is something this movie uses with great relish and to great effect.

Kung Fu Panda is not about being cool. If it was, it wouldn’t be about an overweight Panda martial artist who clearly feels no shame and isn’t bright enough to figure out that a duck is not his real father. But there’s enough cool mixed in to keep us from shutting down all but our humor detectors. It blends marvelously with the offbeat humor that Kung Fu Panda has always harnessed well and a new element of drama and plot that we honestly never saw coming. The characters are deep and rich; we explore Po’s past and touch on Tigress’s issues. We see the “inner peace” of Master Shifu as he finally recovers from the events of the first film. And some of these moments are heavy. Almost too heavy for an animated film. But they are immediately followed by Po trying to do something he simply cannot do and we forget the pain and laugh once more.

It’s been about a year since an animated film made me want to both laugh and cry within the same stretch of time, but Kung Fu Panda 2 did it. There’s something for everyone here: comedy, kung fu, a few little historical moments of zen, and the kind of character development that is frankly lacking from movies nowadays.

For mastering the Art of Awesome, I give Kung Fu Panda 2 a 9 out of 10.

Written by: Steven Jones

Is there anyone in America who did not lower their expectations for this film as soon as it was released? Or at least as soon as mermaids were so prevalent in the trailers? You four people are in for some disappointment. But honestly, after Pirates of the Caribbean: Save Us, Giant Crab Lady (also known as At World’s End), I’m not sure there was really that much room to get worse. And On Stranger Tides does a manageable job of at least staying on course.

If you ever found yourself thinking “wow, Pirates is a bit dark for a Disney flick…” then this installment of the franchise will do wonders for you. Everyone seems to have cleaned up: even Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp continues to rock this roll) seems less edgy and cuddlier—a word which spell check both assures and insists is a word. Barbosa is now a privateer, something history nerds like me will enjoy, and let’s face it; Blackbeard is no Davey Jones. And why is there a random—but thankfully sincere and less stereotypical—missionary on the ship? This franchise is starting to feel like it has been strapped to a cannon and thrown overboard. But it’s still got a little bit of air in its lungs.

The Captain begins his journey in London, where he makes yet another daringly lucky escape from British custody only to discover that his name is being used by another pirate to gather a crew. Several necessary motivations and cameos later, we find Captain Jack on the Queen Anne’s Revenge with Penelope Cruz, being chased by the competing Spanish and British factions. Somewhere along the line, the project must have passed hands from a storyteller to a fan of stories. The build-up of Blackbeard and his mythology is lackluster, especially in comparison to the complexity of the previous films, but there has been painstaking effort to make this film fit into the scope of history, making statements about modernization in a manner similar to the third installment.

Also, there are mermaids and the fountain of youth. Apparently they are interrelated. Mostly they serve as glue to bind all of the gimmicks together. This film is by no means bad. It’s an interesting enough story, but lacks the excitement and originality of the previous three films, of which the first remains the stand-out. It’s a fun little voyage, but it’s more like a wholesome family cruise than the epic journey we’d like.

For enjoyable knitting together more excuses to take our money (and setting up yet more sequels), I give Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides a 7 out of 10.

Written by: Steven Jones

Marvel seems to be slowly introducing us to the heroes we never knew. They started us out with Iron Man, Marvel’s King of Cool. Then they followed up with the Hulk, a classic we had sought to forget after a disastrous 2003 effort to revive him that was fortunately atoned for in 2008. With Captain America on the way, it seems that we will be seeing each Avenger alone before we get to see them all together. Good luck making money on Ant Man and Wasp (Hawkeye makes an uncredited appearance in Thor, but only geeks and imdb-users would notice or care). In all actuality, I feel like Thor represents the line at which the average American can be made to care.

I’m a fan of rebooting old myths. I think it can be done well (see Gaiman’s American Gods). But a comic book adaption of an old Norse myth makes me skeptical. If you’re in the boat with me, let me encourage you to climb out and pillage your local movie theater. Because Thor is worth the trip. I won’t lie to you and say that it’s incredibly clever or unpredictable: it’s a superhero movie. Those tend to be pretty by-the book. It lacks the wit of Iron Man and doesn’t quite reach the narrative value of Hulk, but it’s far from a waste of two hours.

Thor is your typical hero. He has a lot of power, which is important because it helps him hold up his giant ego. He can fly and summon lightning and he carries the mythical Mjolnir (shout out to HALO fans who now understand the moniker of Master Chief’s armor): an incredibly heavy but relatively unimpressively-looking hammer that can pull off boomerang-like maneuvers and summon lightning. I now have to point out the difference between Thunder and Lightning and wonder why they seem to be synonymous in pop culture. I blame Pokemon.

I know this review seems harsh. Mostly that’s because it’s easier to be funny if you’re being a bit mean. In all honesty, Thor has its moments. Every actor and actress pulls their weight, there are several scenes that are breath-taking to behold (shout out to people who aren’t yet sick of 3D), and comic-book fans are sure to enjoy the incredible effort at referencing everything the Marvel universe has to offer.

So, for bringing the Thunder but not the Rain, I give Thor a 6 out of 10.

Written by: Steven Jones

In a summer full of worn-out franchise films, superhero flicks and sequels, Source Code is the equivalent of finding fish amidst the beef and chicken in your fridge. It can be quite refreshing. If you’re into that sort of thing. It is most certainly an acquired taste.

Source Code mixes things up in a pleasant way. It follows your standard Sci-Fi Time Crime format: helicopter pilot Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal; probably the only name you’ll recognize) is inserted into the mysterious titular “source code,” a program that allows users to relive an eight minute window in the memory of a specific subject. The film does a good job of explaining the concept without overdoing it: convincing us that this is viable but not requiring us to work through every piece of theory involved. It deviates from the formula, however, in constantly reminding us that there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY to change the course of events depicted. For some reason, Stevens can do things differently every time in. I suppose small holes in theory are preferable to watching the same eight minute scene fifteen times.

If this movie has a flaw, that’s the main one. The acting is passable rather than phenomenal but doesn’t really get in the way. The only real problem is that we have to endure the classic “this is going to happen every time” intro sequence every time Stevens is reinserted into the Source Code. It feels a bit cliche to watch him say and do the same few things every time, but the sequence is blessedly short and seems to be creatively cut every time. The real magic, however works in what we will call the “Present.”

As the film progresses, we see more and more of the mysterious Beleaguered Castle organization and their operation as Stevens interacts with them. These scenes are wonderfully cut: driving us into the confusion Stevens experiences as a result of the Source Code but guiding us through his startling revelations as he discovers more and more of the truth. It might not be the most original, but it carries enough fresh ideas and solid thought to keep the audience engaged. It’s short, sweet, and just cool enough. It’s a shame it flew under the radar so long, but it seems Gyllenhaal is cursed with Secret Awesomeness (see Prince of Persia).

For breaking some fresh ground in an old field, I give Source Code an 8.5 out of 10.

Written by: Steven Jones

Confession: I saw Suckerpunch the day it came out. And you are just now hearing about it. That is because I honestly still don’t know what to think. In a world where female empowerment consists of objectifying and sexualizing women and then giving them guns, Suckerpunch seems to be on track to empower plenty of women. It aims to engage themes of feminine oppression and masculine dominance, but goes about it in a way that honestly pleases pig-ish men more than it pleases confident women.

We follow Baby Doll (Emily Browning) as her stepfather seeks to silence her by locking her up. She seems like a strong protagonist at first, standing up to her abusive stepfather in the opening scene. I’d like to note that this scene is beautifully arranged. If nothing else, this film brings it on the soundtrack and visuals. And there might be nothing else. For some reason, Zack Snyder decided that the whole thing needed to take place in a brothel. I honestly can’t see why. What’s wrong with the classic orphanage setting? Maybe it’s a little cliché, but given the number of clichés we have to endure throughout the film (dragon-slaying, robot-Nazis, giant rock-samurai… okay, maybe these don’t sound cliché, but if you’ve played video games in the last decade you know that the only thing missing here is some form of undead), you’d think they could’ve spared us all the painfully raunchy bits. I mean, if you’re going to use the evil step-parent, you’re pretty much committed already. I liked the idea better than the follow-through, something I feared from the beginning.

The trailers made this film seem like it was going to be Calvin and Hobbes if they were 20, female, and a little more violent. Make no mistake; the imaginary sequences are breath-taking. When our protagonist enters her imaginary world we are treated to incredible stunts, vibrant effects, and fascinating situations. It makes us wish that we could live there. And maybe that’s the point; the idea that her real world is awful and her imaginary one is wonderful. But Snyder promised us that these worlds would converge. And when they finally do, we get little more than a disappointing and stale monologue that is nearly incomprehensible. And not in the Chris-Nolan-Blew-My-Mind way, either. More like This-is-My-Eighth-Time-Through-Fight-Club-and-I’m-Starting-to-Understand-Why-Nobody-Talks-About-It.

This is possible the fault of some poor cinematographic choices. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks and I’m still honestly not sure what happened in the Real World. All I know is that I was at points insulted and at even more points disappointed. I think the director’s cut of this film should be the first in history to actually cut things out.

For making promises and going back on them, I give Suckerpunch a 3 out of 10.

Alright: let’s go ahead and talk about the giant elephant in the room. Yes, there are some striking similarities between Battle: LA and Independence Day. I mean, if Halo and Independence Day suffered a freak accident that irreversibly combined them with elements of StarCraft it would look a lot like this movie. But only a handful of nerds like me would really notice. And that handful of nerds really wouldn’t care.

Battle: LA follows a group of Marines fresh out of training as they make a desperate stand against a seemingly impregnable alien invasion force. Of course, these Marines aren’t the only ones out fighting… they just seem to be less likely to explode than the rest of the global defense forces. As the film unfolds, one has to wonder how this single platoon fares markedly better than every other armed human on the planet. That is not to say that they fare well. Merely that they seem to die at a rate of a few per half hour rather than a few per second. Heads up: try not to get attached to too many characters. It’s like caring about the unnamed people in Jurassic Park. Or the guys in red shirts who stand next to Captain Kirk. Or the attractive girl in a horror flick. You get the idea. Many of the characters seem to be here for the sheer purpose of blowing up to remind us that, no matter what victory our men have won, the situation is still just short of hopeless. (I have to ask… is there an action movie law book that demands the explosion of a helicopter full of defenseless people?)

There are several almost overly-masculine moments in which the protagonist, SSgt. Nantz (Aaron Eckhart) must deal with these issues by shouting at them until they go away. The film has an unfortunate tendency to portray its protagonists as Jarhead-types with testosterone and adrenaline hard lined into their brains, but it still pulls off some touching moments. Particularly once the Marines encounter a small group of civilians in need of rescue, the humanity of the men begins to show. Eckhart delivers a solid performance, including an episode of post-engagement psychological trauma that pulls the viewer into the film. And this is where Battle: LA shines.

The intent of this movie was clearly to put us on the front lines of a seemingly endless conflict (do I have to make political references here, or can you do that without me?). The film opens in medius res and practically never looks back. I’m tempted to make Cloverfield comparisons. Aliens invade a major city, tearing it to shreds, and we follow along in a shaky-camera adrenaline fest. Except this time we have guns. Which makes it suck even more that we’re getting our butts kicked. As the soldiers tear through empty houses, pursued by an all-but-invincible enemy, we receive updates via television broadcasts cleverly if not subtly placed along the way. The battle is not going well. In fact, it’s probably a good hour before the first confirmed kill of an alien. It takes four Marines several clips and a grenade to kill it. Hopelessness? Check. Fear? Check. Intensity? Most definitely. All of this is packaged well, with the locality of LA being the strongest contribution to the realism of it all. Maybe it’s not the most original film we’ll ever get, but what it does differently it does well.

For raw intensity and a sense of victory against all odds, I give Battle: LA a 6.5 out of 10.

Written By: Steven Jones